2020

This is what January 1st 2020 looked like in Chile. I swear it felt more promising than it looked.

I love me a new year. As an Aries, the idea of a fresh start is what I’m all about. The blank page. The cleanliness of not having messed up yet. The potential of everything being possible and nothing holding me back.

This is just optimism, I guess, and I can plug into it any time of year. But something about this January makes it seem believable. 2020 has a nice ring to it, and it’s not gonna be hard for this year to be better than last, cause last year was the worst. Year. Ever. So I’m feeling optimistic.

First of all, as much shit as we had to deal with in 2019, I am certain it is the fertilizer that 2020 needed to be fruitful and good and fun. Or at least to help us all grow. (Disclaimer: in my experience growth is always fruitful but rarely feels good or fun, fingers crossed for this one).

Here is how I see 2020 turning last year’s shit into gold:

• Personally, I went through the worst breakup ever in 2019. My man moved out of our home exactly a year ago tomorrow, at my request. We were still adoring and torturing each other in equal measure for several months after that, and it didn’t feel like it was actually over-over until the middle of the year. I absolutely do not recommend that approach but that is what it took. Ugh. How is this gonna turn into gold, you ask? I am crystal clear on what I am hoping for in a relationship, I am also super confident that it is not impossible to get what I want in this regard, but I’m also not sweating it. For way too long I was quite anxious about the idea of “ending up alone”, and while I am really excited about meeting a man that can be my life partner and do this crazy ride together, I also know that if that were to not happen, it will be quite alright, thank you very much. I know that humans are social beings and I do believe that being part of a couple can make life better and easier for people in many many ways. It can also make it worse and harder (hello last attempt! Ha). But I also know that if people are single – if I am single – life is not necessarily any shittier. (Please know that to genuinely feel this way takes an insane amount of personal work and spiritual practice). And with that, I’m feeling pretty OK about everything today, which is freaking badass. It helps me feel open to whatever 2020 might bring.

• Globally, the world is fucking coming to a goddamn end. It is no longer those of us that have been working on environmental and social justice issues for evah that are saying it. It is now totally mainstream and accepted that the natural world is getting her ass kicked, that politics are becoming more contentious and polarized globally, and that we are way in over our heads as a people to deal with the challenges of the 21^st Century. The good news about this, is that if there is no problem, there is no solution. So for as long as there is no climate change, there is no fixing it. For as long as there is no racism, there is no healing it. For as long as democracy is not at risk, we can pretend like it’s working just fine. I believe that in 2020 it is totally OK to say that there is climate change, racism is alive and well, and democracy is at risk globally. Those are just 3 of the many many problems that we are facing together, and we can have some hope of addressing them because we are collectively pulling our head out of our ass and admitting we are screwed. And I believe that facing the problem, no matter what it is, is way harder than solving it. So, as far as I’m concerned, we’re on our way, cause we are becoming slightly more willing to face the mess we’ve made. So yay humans!

I have to choose to believe that Life will prevail (she always does) and that we will find a way to be grateful for the entirety of the experience. Because, very much like the existence of a God, trying to figure out if the concept makes sense or not is pointless. What is certain is that how I feel and how I experience life is better when I make a certain choice. And for 2020, I choose to believe that Life will prevail and that I can be grateful for the whole of it.

Mil gracias, blessed be.